Let it go

It is sad when people separate after 20 years because they “don’t love each other anymore”. Sometimes they get lucky, they stay friends and help each other where needed. Love is hard work. You keep working at it until you’ve done everything you could and then you still have to let go. This happens in private situations but also in professional environments.

If you feel the “spark” is fading in a relationship, there are several things you can do; talk about it, talk about it and talk about it some more with or without professional help, you can change yourself (without losing yourself) or experiment. The same thing happens in a professional environment. If you are not happy with your manager, you can choose to ignore this, but that doesn’t change anything. Talking about it is the first step. If you cannot solve the issue together you can ask for professional help from HR or a coach. Don’t forget to really listen to your heart: Is the outcome really what you want, does it make you happy and are you willing to take action as well?

A manager who notices his employee is unhappy has to sometimes make choices to let go. However, before letting go, a manager has to first find ways to hold on. He could focus on changing the situation: Maybe the employee has trouble with his management style, sometimes little changes have strong effects. So don’t give up too soon. It is also your duty as a manager to make sure your staff develops and grows and that they are happy with their work. The employee on the other hand needs to indicate whether he or she is happy with the work or not. For many employees speaking up is a scary thought and might feel as a risk for being laid off.

If you have the feeling you are not happy in the current work situation and you feel you won’t be in the near future, then it is time to let go and look for a better situation. You create your own receipe of happiness and this is different for everyone. Moniek van Rheenen-Schreurs